Could It Be?

Here's something I never knew about myself until this past week:

I'm a bully.

Oh, dear. Now I'm in for it.

It's not the kind of bully you're thinking of, though. It's not like I steal my kids lunch money. (That would kind of be a moot point, right?) I'm not hanging out at the playground threatening the other mothers are anything like that.

What I'm talking about is a spiritual bully to my husband.

What?!

I have noticed that when I feel like God is working on something in our family, it's my responsibility to announce this to my husband and notify him on what we are going to do about this, whether he's ready or not.

For example, there is an issue going on right now in our lives that has been needing some prayerful attention and I have been ready to address it for the last several months. Hubby, on the other hand, just hasn't been in the same frame of mind. The other morning, I was praying before we were starting to get ready for church, and I actually remember thinking of how I could force my hubby to go along with what I thought needed to be done. And then it hit me:

I am a bully.

Instead of praying for my husband and praying that my motives are pure (as well as making sure this is God's idea), I wanted to manipulate the situation on my time frame. Ouch!

I was flabbergasted. Really? Could that be?

Talk about a tearful confession to my Lord and, eventually, to Hubby.

Here's the thing though: Before I 'fessed up to my husband, I started praying diligently for him in this situation. And, it worked! God really used other outside situations to work on his heart. He's been brought gently to the same conclusion without me having to be the proverbial nagging wife. Hallelujah!!

Here's the conclusion that I've come to. Many times, I can best serve my husband by just praying for him and trusting that God can do it without me. Isn't that so contrary to what we've been taught as women? I've come to understand that my husband is the spiritual leader of our home, which is the way it was designed to be, with me as his helpmate.

Please hear my heart, I don't mean that women are just conveniences and are to be used in whatever way with no consideration. What I do mean is that we were created to be partners with our husbands, but he is the one who is ultimately responsible for the spiritual condition of our families.

And so, that means sometimes, I just have to keep my mouth shut!

No One Ever Told Me...

No one ever told me...

~that I could fall in love with someone before I saw their face.
~that I'd remember the things that happened the day they were born in such detail.
~that a heart bursting with pride is an actual physical feeling.
~that I could cry with joy when they remembered their manners.

No one ever mentioned...
~it was likely that at least one of my children would eat a bug. Actually, all of them have.
~that I am always thinking of ways to keep my kids safe in imagined dangerous scenarios.
~that I'd be so tired that my idea of a dream date is taking a nap.
~the wonderful first morning smile when they are so happy to see me.

I wish some one had let me know...
~it's inevitable that the baby will spit up and have explosive poop right after being bathed.
~the thought of serious illness in them would make me so terribly sleepless at times.
~I will never be done with laundry.

I never expected...
~to be excited when the baby finally pooped.
~the thrill of teaching my kids to read.
~to have a picky eater. My kids were going to be exposed (and like) many sorts of foods.
~to let one of my kids go to the grocery store in jammies in the middle of the day.
~to hear "Are those kids all yours?"

I never thought...
~one of my children would break wind in the middle of church and be old enough to realize that's funny.
~that I could be so excited to go on a date with my hubby, only to find myself talking about the kids all night.
~about the responsibility of caring for four young lives.

I realized...
~that I'm stronger than I thought. You have to be to have this job.
~that what I feel for my children is miniscule compared to my Father's love for them (and me).

Would I have believed anyone anyway? Nope, probably not. But, most of these lessons have been a lot of fun learning!

What has taken you by surprise as a parent?

My First Post!

Well, kind of. The first for this blog.

Another blog? Oh, yes.

You see, the last few weeks have been a time of refining fire in my/our lives. One of those painful times that I know is necessary for growth and later on we'll look back and marvel at what our Father has done.

These days are filled with moments of the insanity of raising four children. And yet, and yet... Throughout these days, we're being blessed with small victories, glimpses of what we are working on is actually sinking in somewhere.

You know those times, right? Times when Mama is just on the verge of tears and then - BAM! - someone puts a toy back in the basket and the angels sing. Or when one of the toddlers gets themselves buckled into the carseat without me needing to stick my bum out the cardoor while trying to help them. Nobody really wants to see my undies out of the top of my pants while bending over, anyway.

And so, in this time of fire, this blog had to be born. Really, I had no choice.

Okay, so are you ready? Come, come and share this journey of experiencing God's grace with me.