Just Breathe

I've had to remind myself that several times over the last two weeks or so.

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

Breathe in...

Don't pass out. Don't hyperventilate. Don't swoon.

Just breathe.

Whew! I've made it, or maybe I should say making it. Two weeks can do a whole lot to change your perspective, your understanding, your knowledge of God. And it's all because you make the choice to keep breathing.

You know, I was pretty comfortable a couple of weeks ago. Life had it's ups and downs, but nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing I couldn't handle on my own.

Uh, oh. Trouble's a-brewin'.

On my own? Apparently, that's what I thought.

Uh, oh. Big trouble's a-brewin'.

Let's just say that this girl's been taken down a few pegs. Ouch! That's always painful.

Now that've joined the land of the living again (or the world of blogging for that matter), I look back and remember this particular post which was definitely God telling me something was on it's way and that He is with me. Can I just say that He was right?

He always is.

Four months later, here I am. Broken, puffy-eyed, exhausted.

Exhilirated.

My brokenness is on the altar. I don't want it. It's a symbol of unrealistic expectations, my "rights", my faulty understanding of my Father's ways.

That's just fine with me because I don't want it anymore. I'm heaving and hurling that burden as hard as I can at the foot of the cross. (lots of unlady-like sound effects here because of the effort, dontcha know?)

My brokenness is becoming something way more beautiful than I could have ever made it to be. Or even believed could be made by my loving Father.

And finally, finally, I feel lighter.

Alleluia!

A Mama's Prayer

This is my Bubba:



Forget the fact that he's been a daddy's boy since the moment he entered the world. Forget that he used to tell me he loved his daddy lots and lots and me not so much. Forget the time when he... Oh, wait. Let's forget those things and let me convince myself that he's my boy.

I can pretend, can't I?

Bubba had two birthdays this month.

Two?!

Let me 'splain.

His first birthday was the day we celebrated that auspicious day five years ago when he came barreling into the world, all nine pounds of him. The day when my husband came jumping out of the delivery room with the world's biggest smile on his face. The day he fell in love again, this time with a bouncing baby boy.

His birthday party was at my brother-in-law and sister-in-law's fabulous pool, complete with friends, cake, presents and a fire-engine cake. How could it get any better?



What you don't see in the above picture is approximately twenty-three children having the time of their lives. Nope, only one in little boy heaven.

The second birthday this month, though, was way more important. You see, it has eternal rewards wrapped up in it.



On Wednesday May 19th, my Bubba prayed a precious prayer and became a follower of Jesus. And my heart broke at the preciousness and value of the moment. Now, not only do I have a son, I have another brother in Christ.

It's what I've prayed for him since the moment I knew about that life inside of me.

God answers prayers of mama's hearts.

And that brings me joy.



Linking up with Sharon's Just for the Joy of It. Come on over and share what you're joyful about this week!

PS I got two lovely awards two weeks ago and I haven't even mentioned them! So sorry, Olivia and Brandi! I'll get to that soon.

Just Havta Laugh

First of all, I would like to thank you all profusely for all of your love and support and prayers from last week. And just so you know, when I want to say thank you, I try to say it with fresh, homemade brownies. Any takers?

I'm still feeling a little emotionally raw, so I'm not back to my regular blogging capability. I'm hoping in the next couple of days, but no promises, okay?

Even though I'm still feeling a little down in the dumps, I still love a good laugh. That's why I just had to share this with you, because it's too good not to share with y'all.

Oh, and my disclaimer is that I'm still a good Christian. I just happen to think that this is hysterical. If you don't, well, just blame my husband. He's the one that emailed to me.

So, to sum up, if you think it's funny, you can thank me. If you don't, well then it's all his fault. There, that should cover my bases quite nicely.




Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:


Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!


There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,
Love, Grandma



Because sometimes you just havta laugh! What made you laugh today?

Life In Spite of Her

Kristen Anderson thought she had the picture-perfect life until strokes of gray dimmed her outlook: three friends and her grandmother died within two years. Still reeling from these losses, she was raped by a friend she thought she could trust. She soon spiraled into a seemingly bottomless depression.

One January night, the seventeen-year-old decided she no longer wanted to deal with the emotional pain that smothered her. She lay down on a set of cold railroad tracks and waited for a freight train to send her to heaven…and peace.

But Kristen's story doesn’t end there.

In Life, In Spite of Me this remarkably joyful young woman shares the miracle of her survival, the agonizing aftermath of her failed suicide attempt, and the hope that has completely transformed her life, giving her a powerful purpose for living.

Her gripping story of finding joy against all odds provides a vivid and unforgettable reminder that life is a gift to be treasured.

When I started reading Kristen Anderson's story of attempted suicide, I wasn't sure what to expect. What I read was an incredible story of how God protected her despite her laying down on the train tracks in front of an oncoming train.

Amazingly, after a long painful recovery, she began telling her story to help and encourage others who are needing help with depression and hopelessness.

Kristen's story is an incredible tale of a young woman who in the midst of God's grace finds her true calling in life.

You can watch Kristen talk about her own amazing story here.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Will You Pray For Me?

To my dear blog friends out there, I have a deeply personal request to ask you.

Will you please pray for me?

There are some things that just need to be worked through in my life and I can't deal with them here. Even as open as I am on here. Let's just say that remember that bottle that the Lord uses to hold my tears (go here)? Well, it's been switched out for a rain barrel.

Sometimes, that's just what happens.

So, in the interest of my sanity, I think I'll be taking a break from blogging this week (which is really a shame, because I had a couple of good posts up my sleeve), except for the book review that I'll be doing in a couple of days.

Thank you for your love and support.

Can You Come Out and Play?

It's Friday Follow, it's Friday Follow! (Too bad you can't hear the little Friday song I just made up in my head right now. It's a doozy I tell you.)



If you'd like to play along, head on over to One 2 Try and link up. It's a great way to blog hop on a lovely Friday.

If you're here for the first time, sit back, relax and stay a while. You can head over to my This is Me page or you can sift through the posts and read to your hearts content.

You may want to start here:

*Need a good cry? Go here to Cry Baby, that's Me.

*Like to here me tattle on myself and get a good laugh in the process? Go here to Blame it on the Dark Side.

*Or if you just like to check out cuteness personified, go to Why We Do What We Do.

Of course, there are oodles of pictures in these posts because I live with five of the most wonderful people in the whole wide world.

I'm not biased. Just honest.

Hope you decide to stick around. I'd love to get to know you!

Blessings, Jamie

Why We Do What We Do

Every once in a great long while, a star is born. For us, this star was born three and a half years ago. Have you met Ya-Ya? I promise you, she came out talking and hasn't stopped.

Side note: Has any one seen the movie "Babe"? Remember the farmer's wife who wakes up talking? Meet my Ya-Ya in about sixty years.

Not kidding.

Being the "intentional" parents that we are, we've tried to train this gift for the work of good and not evil.

Hence, the following... (oh, and check out the way she says the word Glory. I could just eat her up!)



And no, the picking the nose part was not scripted. Go figure.

She is even cuter in person. How can this be?

I have NO idea and I'm her mother.

What's bringing you joy this week, my friends? Go over to Sharon's Just For the Joy of It Thursday and share with us! Just because a little bit of joy can go a looonnnggg way. Oh, and tell her Jamie sent ya!

Cry Baby, That's Me!

I didn't know I needed a good cry today, but I did.

Okay, so maybe I had a little bit of an inkling that tears were building up just ready to spew forth a couple of times today. It was one of those "the depths of despair" kind of days. (Surely one of you kindred spirits knows what movie/book that's from.)

I was actually debating about blogging earlier today, but the best thing I could come up with to write about was, "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Not very uplifting, wouldn't you say?

That was pre-cry fest.

I wonder why crying is so necessary to us women. We need to have a good cry every once in a while. Not the kind of tears that are manipulating or self-pitying. I'm talking about the kind that releases, cleanses, restores. Or leads to a hubby taking you out to dinner. (I don't consider that manipulation at all!)

Thankfully, I have a gorgeous, understanding hubby who held me, and probably learned more about me and what goes on in this beautiful thing I call my scattery brain today. You know, the good, the bad, the ugly (mascara running down the cheeks kind of ugly) that comes forth in marriage.

But even better than him, is my Father who collects each and every one of my tears in a bottle labeled "Jamie's tears". He loves me that much. I would love to think that jar is small and very close to being empty.

I know better.

What matters is that He is still in control, still holding me, still loving me.

Are the issues solved? Not yet.

Has the deep exhaustion disappeared? No. Darn it.

Am I still beloved and taken care of? Heck, yes!

Good thing, too, because I still look like a raccoon with puffy eyes.

Not a pretty sight I tell you.

Beautiful People

I have beautiful people living at my house.

Beautiful, funny, crazy people who make me fall in love with them every day.



People who make me homemade mother's day cards and give me slobbery kisses. People who have inhabited my body and yet now carry my heart with them as they run around.

People who have brought me into this club called mommy-hood.

People who I am blessed to change, wash, feed, kiss, love, teach, raise and know.

They are beautiful people indeed.

And I am priveleged to be called their mama.

How was your Mother's Day? Did you celebrate in any special way?

One Down...

It's Thursday, so that means it's time for Just For the Joy of It over at Sharon's Good, True and Beautiful. I love this link up because it makes me slow down and really enjoy the little things that bring me joy (especially since some weeks, the little things are what get you through)! So head on over, link up and tell us what you're joyful for this be-yoo-tiful Thursday!



Okay, so here's what brought me joy this week:

Remember this from way back at the beginning of time, last December?



Well, we're fiiiiinnnnaaaalllyyyy getting somewhere with this whole house ordeal! We've accepted an offer and now we're waiting to hear back from the bank to see if they're going to accept it. Because of the way we're selling (short-sale, like almost everyone else in the whole world), this could take until the end of June to hear back from them.

That's a long time away.

In the meantime though, my mind has shifted from spic and span house (who am I kidding here?) to moving.

Here's my progress so far:


One down, 999 to go.

I love moving! It's a lot of fun for me. I just don't ever want to do it again after this one.

Oh, and one more thing that brings me joy!

Where are you moving, you may be asking, secretly hoping it's next door to you. (We're super good neighbors.)

Well....... We don't know! Yup, for the first time since we've been married, we have no idea where we'll be living in three months. Nope, not a clue. And while that can be a very insecure feeling (trust me, very insecure) for this ultra-planning kind of gal, it's also exciting. I would consider it exhausting too, but that's not important right now.

We know that we want to stay in this general area to be around friends and family, and we're just waiting for the Lord to bring the perfect house and drop it into our laps. You know, the house we'll be living in when our grandchildren come to visit us.

Oh, the suspense is killing me! I'm enjoying almost every minute of it! I'm so excited to see how God reveals Himself in this situation. It's going to better than we could ever imagine.

Patience, Jamie. Patience. (That's what Hubby keeps saying. Arghh! He's right, of course, but don't tell him I told you.)

BSC is Back Baby!

I was sitting there this morning, innocently reading an article in the local newspaper when

Bam!

Eighties flashback occured, right at my kitchen table. I was instantly transported back to the time of leg warmers, Keds sneakers, side ponytails and trapper keepers.

And I had to share it all with you.

Because I'm a nerd like that.

The article (which you can find here) was about, of all things, the return of The Baby Sitter's Club. Does anyone else remember those books, or am I totally dating myself here?



Who didn't love these books? I so, so, so wanted to live their lives. Cruises, fantastic trips, pocket money. Heck, I still want to live their lives! I desperately wanted to be cool like Stacy and Claudia, but found myself unsatisfied with the thought that I might be more like Kristy and Mary-Ann.

Looking back at it as an adult, though, I think I would be proud to be considered Kristy or Mary-Ann-ish. Kristy was a leader and a fantastic organizer. Mary-Ann was so sweet and considerate. Plus, she had an adorable boyfriend. Did any of those other girls have a super-cute boyfriend?

I think not!

The more I think about it, the more I realize I could never have cut it as Stacy or Claudia. I'm definitely not as fashionable as Stacy seeing as Target and Goodwill aren't exactly known to be fashionably cutting edge. Although, I keep trying.

As for hiding food like Claudia, well... I tried that a couple of times. Truly, I did. Then I ended up getting in trouble when my mom followed the trail of ants in my bedroom to the yucky fruit that was hidden under the bed. In my defense, though, it wasn't yucky when I put it under there AND at least it wasn't candy like Claudia had in her room. Unfortunately, that defense didn't work with my mother. Thanks alot, Claudia.

Well, the girls are coming out of retirement. A whole new generation of girls will be introduced to Kristy, Dawn, Mary-Ann, Claudia, Stacy, Jessie and Mallory by their mamas, teachers, librarians.

Will I be having a party for them at my house?

Big fat no. Know why?

Because, as much as I enjoyed those books many, many moons ago, my nine-year old does NOT need to be reading about boyfriends, hiding food, and getting to walk around Disney World all by herself at eleven years old (remember Mallory in the Super Special #1? What were her parents thinking?!)

Thanks for the walk down memory lane, but I think we'll stick with Pollyanna and Little Women, thank you very much.

PS Thank you dear ladies for all of your loving support after the last post! It confirmed to me that I'm doing exactly what I need to be doing right now. And that, my friends, is good to know!

Identity Crises Averted

Whew! That was a close one!

This past Saturday, I went to a blogging workshop. Oh, how I was looking forward to it. I was so excited to meet other bloggers who were, you know, "just like me".

Here's what I found out: There's no one just like me, but especially at those kind of things. I was sooooo out of my league. I was in the presence of so many bloggers who blog daily, who have huge followings, who do reviews for big brand names, who live in the blogging world. They handed out cards with their website names on it, for heaven's sake! I was there card-less. Could I have cut a more pathetic figure? Uh, who knew you were supposed to have cards?

I was intimidated, I was lost, I was in over my head. Truthfully, I think I was the only blogger like me there. And I was sad. At first, I was sad for myself. I want to have lots of followers, I want to be popular, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I walked out of there feeling pretty low. Who am I? What is my niche? How can I get more people to like me? All of these thoughts were rolling around in my mind. It was a long drive home, I tell ya.

But then, I walked into my house. Five people came barreling down on me, smothering me with hugs and kisses. I was loved, I was missed, I was home. And that's when I started to feel sad for everyone else. They don't have these particular people missing and loving them (even we're together almost.every.single.moment.of. every.single.day.). And considering I think that these are the very best people in the whole entire world, that's pretty sad for everyone else.

Here's what I came away with, though. I yam who I yam (sorry, Popeye couldn't resist coming through my fingers right now). But seriously, this blog is who I am without apology. I love the Lord, my husband, children and others. Little things make me happy and content. I don't have to have hundreds of followers to make me feel validated and important. I'm thrilled that anyone besides my mother reads this at all. What a compliment! So thank you!



This blog, quite frankly, was started as a place where I could go to have a voice. It might be the quietest whisper, but it's there and it's mine. As we go along, though, I'm finding that I want to share a little bit more of what I'm learning with others. I'm simply a mama who is madly, deeply, passionately in love with my family and my Lord and I'm learning how to live like it. We also happen to homeschool and look at life through more traditional eyes than most, which makes for some pretty funny and interesting situations (or maybe awkward is a better word?)

I hope that I can bring a laugh to you, or even a "I'm so glad that didn't happen to me!" I also hope that this blog is a place where you feel welcome and loved. And reminds you that you are blessed, just like me.

Very, very blessed.

PS I do want to say that the workshop was very, very good, if you are interested in the business aspect of it. This post was not intended to be negative on the workshop, only to reveal what I realized while I was there. And to complain that no one told me I should have business cards with my blog address on it. Sheesh!