But in a different type of language, what are their love languages? We've all heard of them, right? I know, it's soooo 1990's, but it's still such good stuff! Some people I know don't get into this kind of thing, thinking that it's all another way to sell books and other resources. If that works for them, then great! However, I'm of the mindset that any resource that can help me understand, minister to and bless my kids (and everyone else), is indeed a winner!
Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book, The Five Love Languages, in 1992, originally aimed at married couples. When I read this book as a newlywed, I was so amazed at how right on his stuff was. It definitely helped me learn how to study my hubby and got me into the mindset of how to bless him in ways that I wouldn't have even thought of before. I really loved how not only did it apply to married couples, but to everyone who I have a relationship with, especially my kids.
Fast forward several years, and I went to Dr. Chapman's website. I had my three older kids take the free assessment quiz to see what their languages are. I had a good idea what my girls' were, but Sam had me stumped.
Here are the five:
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Receiving Gifts
Physical Touch
As each one of them took the quiz, there was alot of aha! moments for me. For Livy, whose love language is "acts of service", me being on time to pick her up from somewhere is way more important than buying a present for her. As a mama who works off of Mexican time (meaning: late. Almost all the time.), this is something that I need to work on for her.
Now granted, these aren't absolutes, and one person may end up having two really strong languages or whatever, but this is a fantastic tool to use to bless your children more in a way that will mean something to them. If my love language is different than one of my kids' (and believe me, they are), how I want to show love isn't going to be the way they want to show love.
So how can you find out what your kids' love languages are? Just go to Dr. Chapman's site and you can have them take the assessment quiz. He recommends that children five and older take the quiz as their personalities are more formed and they're better at answering the questions.
What I really want to know is, why isn't there a love language for just chocolate? C'mon, Dr. Chapman. Let's be realistic here!
Mmmmm, the five love languages of chocolate:
Milk Chocolate
Chocolate and Peanut Butter
Chocolate and Raspberry
Chocolate and Caramel
Fudge
Oh, now I see why he couldn't do it. All five would be my love languages.
Love this book my friend, have read and re-read over the years. Only a few cherished titles made it from country to country and this is one of them.
ReplyDeleteLike the chocolate love language too ... but right now mine would have to be spinach ice cream.
Be blessed bunches,
Sarah
Spinach ice cream? My friend, we need to do some serious talking here. Why ruin perfectly good ice cream by adding spinach it? Blasphemy, I say!!
DeleteI remember reading this back in the 90's! :) It revolutionized how our family related to one another and I too have found myself looking at my kids and trying to figure them out. I'll have to check out the quiz.
ReplyDeleteHeather, I did the same thing, but the quiz was really ever so helpful. I'm finding myself keeping those in mind when interacting with each one of them and I see it making a huge difference!
DeleteI love, love, love these books. My favorite one is the Teen love language book. I highly recommend it. I still refer to it for my 17 year old and I read it when she was 12. In fact I was just thinking that I needed to re-read them all again.
ReplyDeleteGina, I'm not sure I'm ready for the teen one yet {gulp!}. It's coming soon though, so I'd better add that one to our overflowing bookshelves. Love ya!
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