Things around here have been super hectic. You know, the kind of hectic where your hubs gets home and the toddler is still just in a diaper and the cereal bowls are still on the table from breakfast? And dinner?
If you're one of those mothers that this never happens to, well done, you. Don't come over to my house, because it would drive you batty. It does me. Can I just come over to your house? And bring my starving family?
"Why has it been so busy around there, you poor soul?" you ask. Oh, bless you. Thank you for asking.
Well, I decided that I would lesson plan our entire school year, which seems so organized and lovely and wonderful and then we would skip through our days with songs in our hearts and beautiful penmanship.
I've been working on it for over two weeks.
I'm barely half way done.
And I'm exhausted.
In the middle of this neck-deep in textbooks and lesson plans, that old haunting mother-guilt easily creeps up on me. And, of course, I'm standing in an open doorway welcoming it in because of this stupid perfectionist streak that runs wild through me. Most of the time, it is subdued. But right now, well, I'm beating it over the head with a mallet, 'cuz ain't no one gots time for that.
To make myself feel better (because at this point, it's really all about me feeling better), I made a list of many things that I do NOT feel guilty about... past and present.
1. Using disposable diapers. Some of my friends not only use cloth diapers, but they've made them from scratch. Bless 'em, Jesus, bless 'em. They probably also went and picked the cotton off the plants themselves. I am a lazy mama, crazy thankful for Huggies.
2. I do not feed my children organic food. Okay, so maybe a little bit guilty about this one, but with five of them and the expense of organic food, as well as Huggies (see #1), we just say grace over it all and pray that we're not being poisoned in the meantime.
3. I do not co-sleep with my children. I did when they were infants and I was desperate for any sleep I could snatch, but that's were it ended. I sent those babies packing into their own rooms as soon as I could. None of my children show a lack of trust in me and they can all sleep through hurricanes.
4. I let my children watch movies in the summertime... every day. Yes, I do. Because I live in Arizona, which happens to be down the road from Hades. The end. And I don't care if you think that's an excuse or not. So there.
5. I only have birthday parties on "big" birthdays for them. That is the rule for mama's sanity. And it's a good one. So that means for every 1st, 5th, 10th, 13th, 16th, and 18th I'm super crazy. And not in a fun crazy way. It's like huddling-under-the-table-whilst-sucking-my-thumb kind of crazy.
6. I have special cereal that my kids are not allowed to eat. Except that they are eating it anyway and I'm too tired to care right now.
7. They all still have quiet time every day, even my twelve-year old. It makes me a nicer mama and then I can sneak little treats from the pantry that I've hidden in the way back.
8. They can't go over to anyone's house where I don't know the parents really, really well. Enough said, right?
9. They have to be in their carseats or buckled in, even if we're just across the parking lot. This can seriously be an issue between my hubs and me. But he loves me anyway.
10. We have no video games. No matter what kind of puppy-dog eyes they give us, I'm so glad that we've stuck with this one.
I say, enough of the mama guilt! We have enough to truly feel badly enough, we give them enough fodder to provide job security for future therapists. I think we can afford to let the little stuff go.